The following conversation just happened to me (pretty much word for word) while standing at Hackney Central waiting for the bus.
- Random guy:
How old are you?
- Me:
Why do you wanna know?
- Random guy:
You’re beautiful.
- Me:
Erm… thanks…
- Random guy:
How old are you?
- Me:
37
- Random guy:
Do you have a boyfriend?
- Me:
Can you please leave me alone?
- Random guy:
You’ve got big tits!
- Me:
- (unbelieving pause)
I know!
- Random guy:
Why do you have big tits?
- Me:
I was born with them… Can you please leave me alone?
- Random guy:
Do you have a big arse?
- Me:
I don’t know… it depends on the definition.
- Random guy:
- (walks around me to have a look himself)
You do have a nice, big arse… You can do lots of things with that!
- Me:
- (thinking he can’t be so crass and genuinely thinking he would say something unexpected)
Like what?
- Random guy:
Have sex!
- Me:
Everyone can have that… Can you please leave me alone!
(I wanted to say “You seriously don’t need to have a big arse to have sex!?” but didn’t.)- Random guy:
Do you wanna have sex with me?
- Me:
No, thanks!
- Random guy:
We can make baby.
- Me:
No, thanks!
- Random guy:
We can make baby here and now!
- Me:
I’m not interested. Can you please leave me alone?!?
- Random guy:
- (goes silent and catches his bus a minute later)
I didn’t feel harassed as a) it was so short, b) he wasn’t sleazy but casual, c) he kept his physical distance and d) it was more funny to me than anything. But next to me was a woman with two children, which makes this conversation a bit less fun. It also makes me wonder what the chances are that any woman might say Yes to such crude advances (in broad daylight, while not being drunk)? He must have had success with that at some point in the past otherwise he wouldn’t do it!?
